Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Ganza rages on

If there were some sort of drying rack one could use on one's liver, I could use one now. But I must hitch up my manhood and enter drunkenly into the fray, for the Ganza is only half over.

Wave two begins today with a doubling of the Ganza ensemble. We now have Slovenia, Vancouver, more Australians, some Regina, and a little extra Seattle. The love never stops.

Also:

The Stanley Cup has come and gone, and sadly we did not win. I was there, front and centre at the old Strathcona Hotel, drinking pitchers so cheap, I thought I was in University again. The Oilers hit the ice calmly, we were all expecting a win, especially after the game 6 blowout, but it was not so. Where are we left, am I left, after such a confusing relationship with this hockey contest, to at the end be left with nothing but disappointment. We gave this contest thousands of beers, horn honks, arrests and police hours. It gave us hope. Are we the less, that we hoped and lost? Only in terms of taxes. For we are richer in spirit.

It was a tale told time and time again in Edmonton, a small place with a big heart, stepping to best in the world and holding our own. I am nothing but proud.

Thursday, June 15, 2006


And the wonderful Patti Stiles late of RFT, but now of Impro Melbourne, brought us this fun game, called guru. Mark is being the guru. Posted by Picasa

And City Councilman Michael Phair was there to cut the ribbon and open the festival! He is awesome. Posted by Picasa

Quicksilver Theatre is damn funny. Posted by Picasa

Ganza Opening!

So the day was wet and the population hockey-ified but fans of RFT showed up in strong numbers anywayto help us crown the glistening head of Ganza 2006. Thanks so much to the fans that braved riot central to support us and our international guests. You guys rock.

The show was funny as all get out, if I do say so myself. And well I might, for the contributions of RFT were just the tip of the comedy iceburgh last night. Tonto's Nephews, our Catch 23 friends, Quicksilver from Belgium, and our BBF's Dad's Garage Theatre from Atlanta made us so proud with their high class japery.

The party raged late and loud in the Varscona lobby and backstage. Much longer backstage, as it turns out. I left near 4, charging the valient Kevin Gillese with lockup duty. It was much later again when he stumbled home. What a trouper.

The fest rages on, and this is just the first hang over of many. Come on out and see us! Infact, here is a schedule!

IMPROVAGANZA 2006 Rapid Fire Theatre’s International Improv Festival, June 14 – 24, 2005

MAY 29

MAY 30

MAY 31

Email all RFT – voluntter work

May 31

Email to fans:

Ganza! Workshops!

June 1

June 2

June 3

June 4

JUNE 5

eMAIL TO FANS:

JUNE 6

JUNE 7

JUNE 8

EMAIL TO FANS

JUNE 9

JUNE 10

JUNE 11

JUNE 12

into the space

projector hung

lighting tweaked

opening cue created

floor painted

curtains hung

JUNE 13

EMAIL TO FANS

JUNE 14 WED

Call: 7 p.m.

8 p.m. Showcase:

INTERNATIONAL JAM - all hands on deck!

Bill, Mark, Kevin, Condor

Second Act –

a) RFT vs Dad’s

MARK, CRAD, BEL,BILL

b) ALLStars vs Tonto’s

LATE NIGHT – Reception a go-go in the Varscona Lobby

JUNE 15 THURS

GANZA GUEST JAM – lead by BECKY JONHSTON

CALL: 7 P.M.

8 p.m. Showcase – RFT - The BelindaMeer

Second Act –

a) Seattle vs All Stars

b) Iron Cobra vs RFT

Kevin,Joey,Arlen, Jules - CRAD Hosts

JUNE 16 FRI

CALL: 7 P.M.

8 p.m. Showcase: Iron Cobra

Second Act –

a) RFT vs Melbourne

b) Tonto’s vs Seattle

Belinda,Condor,Mark,Jules - Crad Hosts

LATE SHOW 11 pm

First Act –

a) Melbourne vs Dad’s

b) ALLStars vs RFT

Crad,Mark,Arlen, Kevin - Joey Hosts

Second Act -

Jam show!

JUNE 17 SAT

MATINEE - 2 pm

KIDPROV! With puppets – Tim from Atlanta hosts

Second Act – CALL: 7 P.M.

Showcase -

Tonto’s Nephews TO

a) quicksilver vs Dad’s

b) AllStars vs Iron Cobra

LATE SHOW 11pm

Act one –Showcase:

UP – Seattle

Second Act –

Showcase –

Dad’s Garage – Atlanta

SUN, JUNE 18

Morning – Women in Improv – workshop lead by Patti Stiles

11 – 2pm

BBQ AT KAREN’S COUNTRY ESTATE (rides provided) 1-7 p.m.

Movie Night at the Varscona – for Ganza guests, RFT Playas and good friends only

MONDAY, JUNE 19

EMAIL TO FANS

DARK

masterclass workshop

11am – 3 pm

PUBLIC

WORKSHOP

7 - 10

JUNE 20, TUES

CALL: 7 P.M.

8 p.m.

a) Instant vs Narabov

b) Quicksilver vs Fools

Second Act

Jam Show!

JUNE 21, WED

LUNCH AT CHIANTI’S

1 PM

CALL: 7 P.M.

8 p.m. Showcase: : RFT – Young Guns

Second Act –

a) Iron Cobra vs Melbourne

b) Narabo vs Seattle

JUNE 22, THURS

EMAIL TO FANS

Edmonton Queen ride

2-4 p.m.

CALL: 7 P.M.

8 p.m. Showcase:

Teatre Narabov (Slovenia)

Second Act –

a) Dad’s vs Instant

b) Melbourne vs Tonto’s

JUNE 23, FRI

Gateway Rec Centre

2 – 5 p.m.

CALL: 7 P.M.

8 p.m. Showcase: Quicksilver Theatre

Second Act

General Fools (Regina)

LATE SHOW 11 pm – Act One – Melbourne Showcase

Second Act

a) Quicksilver vs Iron Cobra

b) UP Seattle vs Fools

ACT THREE - CRAZY LATE JAM SHOW

JUNE 24, SAT

MATINEE 2 pm

KIDPROV – with puppets! Tim from Atlanta hosts

CALL: 7 P.M. –JAN

Instant Theatre (Vancouver)

Second Act: FINALS

Fourth place team vs second place team – WINNER goes to FINAL

LATE SHOW – 11 pm

3rd Place vs 1st Place WINNER goes to FINAL

Second Act: FINALS

FINALISTS vs FINALISTS =

WINNERS!!!!!!!

Friday, June 09, 2006

and the link

www.nowtoronto.com/dora

click it and vote.

And if you don't like BoyGroove, you can click on Wrecked. I wrote that one too.

Thank you so much, unless you did not click, in which case I ask:

Why you gotta be a hater?

Love, Chris

So there is this people's choice awards thing for the "Doras", which are the Toronto "Sterlings", which is a theatre award. If you vote for us, we might win! A "Dora". (see above for explainaion of 'Dora') Posted by Picasa

I'm so excited

And i just can't hide it. I'm about to lose control, and I daresay, I like it.

The GANZA is so soon now, and I am so excited/scared I could just pee. Things seem to be going well, all the T's crossed and eyes dotted. The Publicity seems to go well. The SEE cover came out a bit early, but that is okay, this happens. A little prepress is a good thing, and we still got VUE and multiple Journal pieces coming out, not to mention our hilarious Sonic ads and posters going up, our tent cards and so forth. People should come, they came last year...

Also there is the "Seeing Old Friends" component. I am just excited for that. Ah, to hug my man Lee White, to drink a cold one with Rene Dellafont, to sit at the feet of Patti Stiles, Improv's prettiest guru.

Mostly I just want to provide my guests with large audiences to delight. That is my chief function here, and I aim to please. I am not worried about what the groups will do when they get here. They're so awesome. I just know the shows will be great. It is wonderful to beleive in what you are selling. That's why working at the GAP sucks so much.

Today I am running all about, doing interviews, dropping off passes, meeting with the lady from Avenue.

Did you know that Avenue is preparing to drop an edmonton version here? (This may be a secret, but nobody told me to keep it) You may know the glossy arts-lifestyle mag from Clagary, well here it comes to Eville, and they've asked me to write a comedy thing for the back page of the inaugural issue. I am kind of excited about that too.

I guess I am just generally excited.

Thursday, May 25, 2006


Look! Scared now? Posted by Picasa

This petition was sent to me by Michael Petrasek, and I send it to you: this is called "Stephen Harper is a Sports Fan"

To: Government of Canada

The decision by the Government of Canada in its most recent budget to give a tax credit to the parents of children taking part in organized sports (the so-called "soccer mom" credit) is fundamentally unfair. It provides a subsidy to one group of citizens by making a value judgement about the activities in which they choose to involve their children.

The implicit assumption is that involvement in traditional sports has a higher value than taking piano or dance lessons, taking classes in the visual and dramatic arts, singing in a youth choir or taking part in debating or chess clubs. This is unsupportable in fact and undemocratic in its effects. Parents who choose to spend their money on developing the aesthetic, cultural and artistic gifts of their children should not be discriminated against in favour of parents who choose to support their childrens athletic abilities.

Therefore, the undersigned petition the government to reconsider its announced policy and to extend the tax credit to all children and to any activity in which parents enroll their children for their mental, artistic or physical well-being.

Sincerely,The Undersigned

If you think arts and culture may, in fact, be as valuable as soccer to our society, please consider signing the petition below on thewebsite here listed:

http://www.petitiononline.com/dbs201bl/

Okay Stephen Harper. Now you're pissing me off.

What's next? Double the baby bonus for being born twice?

Free cable for those who watch demonstrably more Fox News?

And now you won't talk to the press? That's not allowed! You're the PRIME MINISTER. We're allowed to know what you are doing. That's a really big democracy rule.

You watch this guy. He's got Bushitis. And that is not a spell check mistake.

Saturday, May 13, 2006

A rough patch

My improv, especially in Theatresports, has been going through quite a rough patch. After some 14 years of doing this stuff, I find most Fridays I am hitting the second half tired, distracted and without the spark I need to really rock it out there. The stuff I am doing is okay, but just that, and sometimes less. It lacks luster. What is that word? Lackluster. Luckily Mark to the Meer has been around to save my ass.

CHiMPROV goes a lot better for me, for one reason or the other.

Maybe when Kevvy gets home, the pleasure of seeing my good friend and improvising with him again will relight my fires.

Maybe the sloughing off of external theatrical work will leave me the energy I need for the RFT stage.

Maybe the upcoming GANZA will inspire me to greater heights.

And if that doesn't work, a break. Like a month break from short form improv.

I'll still do the CHiMP though. I mean, do you see how many HopRocks shows are coming up?

Sunday, May 07, 2006


50. She has an adopted brother named Steven, who doesn't travel. So she arranges to have photos taken of his name in different places, so that it's like he was there. Posted by Picasa

I went to Edinburgh last summer, and she missed me. Posted by Picasa

100 reasons my girlfriend is better than sarah silverman ( a work in progress)

1. I actually know her. Real well even. She comes to my house and we eat meals together and rent movies and walk around. It's super fun.

2. Her sense of humour is as funny as Sarah's, but less harsh, which I enjoy more in a personal setting.

3. She contantly talking about neat stuff that I am totally interested in.

4. She is really smart.

5. She is really pretty.

6. She smells really good.

7. She is constantly impressing me with her dedication to her work, both vocational and occupational.

8. I like her new haircut.

9. She is really thoughtful, not just of me, but of all her friends and family, and of cabdrivers. (After she calls a cab, she has to go and wait for it, because she would rather wait outside for ten minutes than make a cabbie wait for one. That kind of thoughtful.)

10. Jania find excellent gifts. (see number nine)

11. These gifts are often for me.

12. When they are not, she puts my name on the card, so that I seem thoughtful too.

13. While she can speak intelligently about intenational politics in Spanish, she is willing (nay, eager) to discuss celebrity gossip with me. Like that Tom Cruise, I mean, am I right?

14. The whole sex thing simply can not be ignored. But I won't get into details.

15. A year aogo I taught her to scramble an egg. Now she can make the best curry ever.

16. She took me to nicaragua and showed me a whole different world.

17. She likes all my friends.

18. All my friends like her.

19. I like all her friends.

20. She lives in a nice apartment that is hilariously messy and very neat, sometimes depending on the room you are in.

21. She had lots of patience for people, but does not suffer fools gladly, and can hilariously lampoon people she dislikes. This counter-balances with the general sweetness of her character and makes laugh and laugh, because despite number 2, I do like harsh comedy as well.

22. She got into comics, but she got into not just superhero ones, like i mostly read, but also little small press personal stuff that I have grown to like as well.

23. She comes out to my family's place and sincerely enjoys the craziness that is a Craddock gathering.

24. I like her new haircut.

25. She likes me in a beard.

26. She is incapable of driving anywhere near good enough while talking on her cell phone.

27. She likes air hockey. And is quite good.

28. She beats me at everything. (except air hockey)

29. She likes theatre a lot, while not actually being in theatre, as a profession.

30. She gets me a lil something everytime I open anything, even if it is in a different town, or if it was just my birthday. It's her way of saying she is proud of me.

31. She is proud of me.

32. If I am really busy, she will call people and make appointments for me.

33. She likes when i cook for her.

34. I get to lend her my car.

35. She keeps all her jewelry on the Spiderman phone by my couches. She says that he protects it, and maybe he does.

36. She is really short, but she buys pants at an "especially for tall girls store", and then hems them, by a foot and a half.

37. She can play with the nicaraguan kids so well. They love her. She's turns a quick panhandle into a fast friendship, the kind kids make with each other for a day on a playground.

38. She was willing to get a cat, even though she is really allergic, because i really like cats.

39. We make little vows to each other concerning mundanity, which we know we will not keep. We will not consistently acheive better nutrition, we will not return the movies on time.

40. She gives great backrubs.

41. She listens well to my rants of the feckless business i have chosen, and consistently gives reasonable, supportive and human advice.

42. she learned some of gay rap i wrote and can spit it on request.

43. when she saw the sarah silverman stuff on my blog, this is the email she wrote me:

i was so excited to check out the exagerated life of you, because i knew that the big "100 reasons that my girlfriend kicks ass" entry was coming out today. hurrah!

"you know who else i love SO MUCH?"

awwww. how sweet. he love me SO MUCH!

but wait...thats not me at all!!!! that's the funny girl from tv, movies, and jimmy kimmel's bed.

she took my spot. what a cunt.

i still love you...but she is in my bad books.


love,
j

44. She has the tiniest hands.

45. We are gonna try to make a documentary.

46. When I questioned whether I should have the small print of "the Kiss" in my living room, she reminded me that it was funny because all my "KISS" action figures are on the shelf above them.

47. She never judges how messy my bedroom (and life) gets.

48. She is always going to baby showers, but shows little interest in having a child herself.

49. She takes such good care of her brother.

Friday, May 05, 2006

tonight is a workshop performance of BASH'd

Yes! You heard right!

(if you read that aloud to yourself and you heard it, then YES! YOU HEARD RIGHT!)

The incredibly anticipated in incredibly small circles workshop presentation of BASH'd, a gay rap opera, by Nathan Cuckow, Aaron Macri, and me. I am nervous as hush puppies at an athlete's foot convention, but I can only hope the beat will stay with us and the rhymes will amuse and contort the assembled theatre nerds.

I am always amazed at the turn outs these things get. But then, I guess if an artist you liked, say Picasso, said (probably in Spanish) hey, you wanna look at this painting. It's not done, but if you want, you can look at it, and then later when it's done you can compare, well, you'd look at that painting, wouldn't you.

Like if Jonathan Franzen said, (in English) hey Crad, check it out, my new book. It's just a first draft, but i like it so far, why not give it a look, well, I sure as hell would.

Not that I am famous like those guys, but you get the idea. Maybe it's not that mysterious after all.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Also

I am noticing a lot of people. Homeless people, in this case, and specifically I am noticing how they often walk across the street in the midle of the flow of traffic, stopping everything.

I have heard people say that it i because they are too drunk/high/mentally ill to notice when they cross the street.

But i think not.

I think it is a gesture, a gesture of their power, their power, thier tmporary political position, that they will stop the flow of society for just a minute, they, who have the power to affect little in their lives and less in the world at large, they, who are braver than most, perhaps due to their mental states, (drunk/high/mentally ill, for this is still also often true) and thus they take thier difficult lives into their hands and pull that shopping cart across 109 street at rush hour, while your coveted green light goes to yellow ten feet ahead.

They do this, not to annoy, (though yes, to annoy) but also as if to say:

"You will notice me now. now you will preserve my life. you will stop your car, for though you will not help me live, you also do not wish to be the one to kill me. you will stop and look, for i am here, i am here, I AM HERE."

la la la la la life goes on

So now I am hip deep in the Springboards New Play festival, and despite my being basically a new play factory of Taiwan proportions, I have never done this festival before. Maybe because I finish my plays two weeks before rehearsals start.

Anyhow, here I am, with my man the N - to the Dizzle and Dr Ge', who we all know to be none other than my BoyGroove bro in arms, double A to the R O N. And we are having a fun and exhauting time getting this workshop rapping up. Workshopping a rap musical is not like workshopping a regular play. In a play reading, it is so natural to stop and look and read some more, and pause and so forth. But rap is set to a beat that keeps going and all that, well, you can see the difference.

After this next week, I am taking a couple of days off. And when I am done smoking pot and playing PS2, I am going to go to Toronto and look in on BoyGroove as well as check out the Tournament of Wonders Improv festival, put out by my pals Iron Cobra. So that should be an awesome party trip, leaving me hung over and funned up and ready to go back to work.

Coming up soon, one hundred reasons my girlfriend is better than Sarah Silverman.

Friday, April 28, 2006


Look at her guest hosting the chappelle show! There she is!  Posted by Picasa

You know who else I love SO MUCH? Sarah Silverman. So goddamn funny. Download her roasts of Hefner and Pam Lee, and you will pee your pants.  Posted by Picasa

Thursday, April 27, 2006

and then boygroove opened

and i wasn't there. I would like to describe the hazy recollections through my massive hangover,
( I did get a bit drunk here, in celebration, but my hangover is small and manageable) but since I was not there, I can only hit you with some excerpts of emails I received from participants and various spies I stationed.


like my friend Erin, the publishing queen of Toronto:

Hey--Just wanted to tell you again how much I loved the show last night. It
was really excellent. The guys did a great job. It's a great show, you're brilliant! The theatre was so packed that people were standing in the back. Great audience response and I'm sure that the
clapping would have continued if they hadn't turned the lights up right
away. People were laughing, clapping along with the songs, cheering, etc.
Singing the songs in the bathroom afterwards... (I tell you, the bathroom is
where it's at.) The poster/programs look great too, although your name should
be bigger. :-)

Most of all, to you, congratulations. This is an amazing opportunity and
it's absolutely well deserved. I wish you could have been there last night.

Tell me when you'll be in town. I'm leaving tomorrow and I'll be back late
Monday, May 8. Maybe I can bring Karen to the show when you're here.

Lots of love, E.

ps. Oh yes, there were loads of media people there too. Including Canada's
Us weekly, the Weekly Scoop.

pps. I had no idea the boys sang the national anthem at the Jays game on the
weekend--hilarious!!

and I got this from one of the investor guys, who has been kind enough to update me from time to time on the goings on of the goings on.

HI Chris, just a quick hi;
Here's the first review of last night's opening review in the Toronto Star:
**** FOUR STARS !
Not bad for a brand new show.
Last night was terrific,full house and great time. 85 minutes of pure fun. Besides the Star, the Sun, Globe & Mail, National Post and Eye were there as well. I'll forward their views when printed. The boys worked their tails off. We set up a 'sign station' in the lobby that the teens (as well as a few women) used for their signs in the show. The place rocked. The sound tech still has his work cut out for him but everything, including the projections worked well. There was praise to go all around - Aaron's songs and sound-props, your writing . . especially your writing. Personally, I want to say that I marvel at some of the remarkable things you do that expose so much, so simply ( like my favourite . . "whatchamacallit. . . gay."). You're good.
There was great constructive feedback too, but that's for another show another time. . . now I have to go sell tickets . . .
Let me know when you're back in town. .
Regards, Jef


And just so you know, in the Toronto star, four is the most you can get. Just so you weren't like where's the other star, like my parents, when i would get a test back and they'd be like, where's the other 20%, when I already had to cheat to gt the 80? Parents, you know? Anyhow -

This is from Beth, the stage manager.

Hey guys!!

Well, we are opened!! Thank GOD!. It took until 7:10
to get the lighting/sound/video to be in a place where
things were ok to start, but we got there. I had a
couple of GREAT phone conversations with Macri and
most stuff got figured out. A full show report will
follow tomorrow, but I'd like to think the worst is
over, people are drinking their faces off and the
crowd absolutely LOVED the show.

We all felt your love coming from so far away and know
that we all wish you were here. Again, I will update
tomorrow, but everything is going to be ok.

B


So that was the boygroove opening, as far as I know....