Thursday, May 17, 2007
even a minor illness
burgles your time
you sleep it away
or suffer in the lack of silence that media provides
even if it doesn't kill you
you live a lot less
when you're sick
i guess it's true what they say
you don't have your health
you don' have anything
but what they don't know is
i still have my health
it's just hiding
from the germs
burgles your time
you sleep it away
or suffer in the lack of silence that media provides
even if it doesn't kill you
you live a lot less
when you're sick
i guess it's true what they say
you don't have your health
you don' have anything
but what they don't know is
i still have my health
it's just hiding
from the germs
Saturday, May 12, 2007
Friday, May 11, 2007
life is busy
and yet
there is leisure
there is a lot of leisure
so much so
that i am thinking of getting a leisure suit
me and jania are watching prison break
how do they keep the tension up
while continuing to not break out of prison
it's a conspiracy
the vice president is at the top of it
she's working it
meanwhile in real life
i am producing Canada's Largest Improv Festival
got this zombie vs batman concept for the promo material
maybe you see the video below
lots of people coming
friends and friends of friends
it's the thing i do every year
that makes me the nervous-est
there's a tv show i might get to write
a commercial theatre piece
there's work coming in thats me feel like mary tyler moore
like i'm gonna make it after all
on the other side is my taxes
all this work
to apply for my gigantic bill
supposed to get hooked up for GST
keep books
all this stuff
that I do NOT want to do
it reminds me of my high school theory of society
society is a pyramid of exclusionary games
games you are to play
with decreasing levels of guidance
elementary school
high school
college
employment
income taxes
fail to properly play any one of these games
and you will fail at society
but it goes on from there
stock market
incorporation
government
to really get on you gotta learn these games too
i am on the cusp of the new set of games
intimidated sure
but at the same time
whatever
you can't take things too seriously
its only a game
what i really want to do
is dance
and yet
there is leisure
there is a lot of leisure
so much so
that i am thinking of getting a leisure suit
me and jania are watching prison break
how do they keep the tension up
while continuing to not break out of prison
it's a conspiracy
the vice president is at the top of it
she's working it
meanwhile in real life
i am producing Canada's Largest Improv Festival
got this zombie vs batman concept for the promo material
maybe you see the video below
lots of people coming
friends and friends of friends
it's the thing i do every year
that makes me the nervous-est
there's a tv show i might get to write
a commercial theatre piece
there's work coming in thats me feel like mary tyler moore
like i'm gonna make it after all
on the other side is my taxes
all this work
to apply for my gigantic bill
supposed to get hooked up for GST
keep books
all this stuff
that I do NOT want to do
it reminds me of my high school theory of society
society is a pyramid of exclusionary games
games you are to play
with decreasing levels of guidance
elementary school
high school
college
employment
income taxes
fail to properly play any one of these games
and you will fail at society
but it goes on from there
stock market
incorporation
government
to really get on you gotta learn these games too
i am on the cusp of the new set of games
intimidated sure
but at the same time
whatever
you can't take things too seriously
its only a game
what i really want to do
is dance
Monday, May 07, 2007
i don't like smoking
i'm pretty low maintenance
the bachelor says
a brunette says:
a blonde and brunette fall off a building
which one landed first?
uh, the brunette
yeah, but why?
i dunno
the blonde had to stop and ask for directions
the other women cry
when he disappears into the water
kayaking off the yacht
when you have feelings for a guy
as I guess, a lot of us do at this point
it hurts to see him flirt with other guys
UUUUUH says skip
it hurts her
the bachelor says:
it was fun going out on the boat today
but it was tough too
having feelings for a lot of these women like i do
it was tough having them all interact like that
next they build a playground
it's a fertility test
this is how i type
when i am watching tv
drunkly blogging
bring your pallette
for a night of pleasure
they mix thier own wines
and then paint a painting
for the lable
on the shitty wine
he puts paint on his hand
and takes her hand in his
put it on your heart
he says
and he places his hand firmly
on his sculpted pec
and she on her large firm tit
they kiss
skip screams and claps her hands
these girls will do anything he says
these girls are all twenty three or so
but not devin
devin breaks down
i'm twenty eight
the guy i am dating is dating so many other women
i could just be at home dating a guy who is dating just one woman
i just feel ridiculous
amber says
i cooked dinner for my brothers and sisters every night
i am the most mature twenty three year old, like, EVER
yes
yes you are
ever.
they paint a playground for kids
one of them says
even though we're working as a team
we're really here for andy
not the kids
amber wants to take you to her classroom
he's so handsy
jania says
he'll just pull anything into hug
into a grope
no no
she says
paint the leaves and stems this way
DON"T CORRECT HIM! skip SHOUTS!
we have to take a break
it's too painful
i'm pretty low maintenance
the bachelor says
a brunette says:
a blonde and brunette fall off a building
which one landed first?
uh, the brunette
yeah, but why?
i dunno
the blonde had to stop and ask for directions
the other women cry
when he disappears into the water
kayaking off the yacht
when you have feelings for a guy
as I guess, a lot of us do at this point
it hurts to see him flirt with other guys
UUUUUH says skip
it hurts her
the bachelor says:
it was fun going out on the boat today
but it was tough too
having feelings for a lot of these women like i do
it was tough having them all interact like that
next they build a playground
it's a fertility test
this is how i type
when i am watching tv
drunkly blogging
bring your pallette
for a night of pleasure
they mix thier own wines
and then paint a painting
for the lable
on the shitty wine
he puts paint on his hand
and takes her hand in his
put it on your heart
he says
and he places his hand firmly
on his sculpted pec
and she on her large firm tit
they kiss
skip screams and claps her hands
these girls will do anything he says
these girls are all twenty three or so
but not devin
devin breaks down
i'm twenty eight
the guy i am dating is dating so many other women
i could just be at home dating a guy who is dating just one woman
i just feel ridiculous
amber says
i cooked dinner for my brothers and sisters every night
i am the most mature twenty three year old, like, EVER
yes
yes you are
ever.
they paint a playground for kids
one of them says
even though we're working as a team
we're really here for andy
not the kids
amber wants to take you to her classroom
he's so handsy
jania says
he'll just pull anything into hug
into a grope
no no
she says
paint the leaves and stems this way
DON"T CORRECT HIM! skip SHOUTS!
we have to take a break
it's too painful
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
Thursday, April 26, 2007
he is the creepiest guy i ever
well not the creepiest guy i ever
but he's pretty creepy
says jania
about the guy
on the bachelor
these women are competing to marry this guy
who seems an utter douche
he hits on all of them
he is an officer
and a gentleman
oh GOD!
skip says
he's kissing her
he is so GROSS
c'mon smoker girl
they say
their favorite
the next competetion
is to spend the night
for "special quality time"
i like two adjectives - noun thing like that
they are experiencing cheapening demeaning humiliation
sometimes i rush it
she says
Skip's stomache hurts
oh god OH GOD
she says
don't you think that whoever he ends up marrying is gonna change their mind when they see the show, jania says
you're my sanctuary
the bachelor says
with nine girls left
and so it goes
well not the creepiest guy i ever
but he's pretty creepy
says jania
about the guy
on the bachelor
these women are competing to marry this guy
who seems an utter douche
he hits on all of them
he is an officer
and a gentleman
oh GOD!
skip says
he's kissing her
he is so GROSS
c'mon smoker girl
they say
their favorite
the next competetion
is to spend the night
for "special quality time"
i like two adjectives - noun thing like that
they are experiencing cheapening demeaning humiliation
sometimes i rush it
she says
Skip's stomache hurts
oh god OH GOD
she says
don't you think that whoever he ends up marrying is gonna change their mind when they see the show, jania says
you're my sanctuary
the bachelor says
with nine girls left
and so it goes
Monday, April 23, 2007
Sunday, April 08, 2007
so we went to whitehorse
headed north from the gateway to the north
which is edmonton
which is why we got a direct flight
for once
whitehorse is a bit squat and frozen
a bit of a strip mall of a City
but with such nice people
such hospitality and fast friendships
we had weed in no time
and the theatre
so well equipped and large
these guys got funding
the government bribes people to live up there
not just with salaries
but with stuff
we set up and we did the show two times
jania came up
we had good times
my Dad works up there
so we this house to stay in
it was really big and nice
but with a disturbing number of stuffed animals
not the plush kind
the kind that once lived
a giant ram faces the front door
he must've been beautiful
now he will be
creepy-beautiful
forever
then we went to dawson city
a full six hours north of whitehorse
on the windy highway of death
we stopped and picked up a hitcher
who had broke down at the side of the road
like we were really nice
like the people there are
he had the biggest hands i ever saw
except when i saw the guy who played chewbacca
the town is a heritage park come to life
all the buildings are ole timey
it's illegal to pave the streets
instead of sidewalks they have boardwalks
the hotel we're staying
is famous for keeping severed frostbite toes
that you put in a shooter
you let the toe kiss your lips as you drink it
if you move there you have to do the toes
we didn't do the toes
the show was in a town hall
about the size of orange hall
we set up against a wall
75 people show up
some drunk and yelly
and unruly crowd
some of them had never been to a play ever before
our comedy shocked them
i heard a guy say
these guys will say anything
after my character said he wanted to have sex
with blanche
from the golden girls
he has a point
and then the drinking
oh so much drinking
the offers of sex
all of us could have had sex with so many grossly drunk people
but we didn't
but they were nice
such nice people
up north
headed north from the gateway to the north
which is edmonton
which is why we got a direct flight
for once
whitehorse is a bit squat and frozen
a bit of a strip mall of a City
but with such nice people
such hospitality and fast friendships
we had weed in no time
and the theatre
so well equipped and large
these guys got funding
the government bribes people to live up there
not just with salaries
but with stuff
we set up and we did the show two times
jania came up
we had good times
my Dad works up there
so we this house to stay in
it was really big and nice
but with a disturbing number of stuffed animals
not the plush kind
the kind that once lived
a giant ram faces the front door
he must've been beautiful
now he will be
creepy-beautiful
forever
then we went to dawson city
a full six hours north of whitehorse
on the windy highway of death
we stopped and picked up a hitcher
who had broke down at the side of the road
like we were really nice
like the people there are
he had the biggest hands i ever saw
except when i saw the guy who played chewbacca
the town is a heritage park come to life
all the buildings are ole timey
it's illegal to pave the streets
instead of sidewalks they have boardwalks
the hotel we're staying
is famous for keeping severed frostbite toes
that you put in a shooter
you let the toe kiss your lips as you drink it
if you move there you have to do the toes
we didn't do the toes
the show was in a town hall
about the size of orange hall
we set up against a wall
75 people show up
some drunk and yelly
and unruly crowd
some of them had never been to a play ever before
our comedy shocked them
i heard a guy say
these guys will say anything
after my character said he wanted to have sex
with blanche
from the golden girls
he has a point
and then the drinking
oh so much drinking
the offers of sex
all of us could have had sex with so many grossly drunk people
but we didn't
but they were nice
such nice people
up north
Sunday, March 25, 2007
i have a cold
so i take medicine
to dry the faucet of snot
but it goes too far
and then I have a nose bleed
the tickling of the blood on my upper lip
wakes me up in the middle of the night
and then i stuff tissue into my nostril
and look quietly at the internet
waiting to stop bleeding
if i start to bleed at the meeting today
i'm sorry
it's not a response to your question
they're all good questions
it's just that I have a cold
and the drugs go too far
so i take medicine
to dry the faucet of snot
but it goes too far
and then I have a nose bleed
the tickling of the blood on my upper lip
wakes me up in the middle of the night
and then i stuff tissue into my nostril
and look quietly at the internet
waiting to stop bleeding
if i start to bleed at the meeting today
i'm sorry
it's not a response to your question
they're all good questions
it's just that I have a cold
and the drugs go too far
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
it seems to me
that we live in an age of techno-sorcery
where we all wear computerized communication and surveillance devices more powerful than the computers we sent up in the first shuttle with cars with video cameras and dvd players, that are hybrids not nearly often enough, with some people actually wearing the tech within their ear, within an actual orifice of their body, and others who are deaf implanting electronic devices to hear for them, to translate sounds into electronic signals that are then read by your nervous system making these humans what we will later think of as the first cyborgs, hopefully, if we get the chance to think of anything at all
while at the exact same time
millions of other people believe in an invisible man in the sky who either wants you to deny global warming and vote conservative, or wear a beard and make jihad or even just be nice and moderate but truly believe they have a personal relationship with a fictional person who died over two thousand years ago which could only be possible with the use of and given the existence of:
MAGIC
science has a slippery slope
if you need to hold the belief that the earth is six to eleven thousand years old, then you must draw into doubt something as simple and solid as carbon dating, so its a short jump to call into question atmospheric science, which makes one wonder if water really freezes at zero degrees or does God consistently make it look that way to serve his ineffable plan?
magic has no such problem
magic is exactly as provable today as it ever was, and religious magic needs no proof at all, for in a flawless loophole, faith is required, you are required to have faith in magic to be considered a member of the group and retain the fabulous benefits that come from membership, like a pure and pretty dating/marriage scene, and the satisfaction of creating a majority government
but some science they DO believe
the science of bombs and machines to pump oil and refine oil and the computers to watch the whole thing and the robots who took the jobs of the people before they discovered people of different color were cheaper than robots, because they build and maintain themselves and they will even use a computer to tell you that science is a lie and technology has gone too far and click on this video to illustrate the point
we live in an age of techno-sorcery
the two french kiss in the hallway
while they both tell each other to stop
that we live in an age of techno-sorcery
where we all wear computerized communication and surveillance devices more powerful than the computers we sent up in the first shuttle with cars with video cameras and dvd players, that are hybrids not nearly often enough, with some people actually wearing the tech within their ear, within an actual orifice of their body, and others who are deaf implanting electronic devices to hear for them, to translate sounds into electronic signals that are then read by your nervous system making these humans what we will later think of as the first cyborgs, hopefully, if we get the chance to think of anything at all
while at the exact same time
millions of other people believe in an invisible man in the sky who either wants you to deny global warming and vote conservative, or wear a beard and make jihad or even just be nice and moderate but truly believe they have a personal relationship with a fictional person who died over two thousand years ago which could only be possible with the use of and given the existence of:
MAGIC
science has a slippery slope
if you need to hold the belief that the earth is six to eleven thousand years old, then you must draw into doubt something as simple and solid as carbon dating, so its a short jump to call into question atmospheric science, which makes one wonder if water really freezes at zero degrees or does God consistently make it look that way to serve his ineffable plan?
magic has no such problem
magic is exactly as provable today as it ever was, and religious magic needs no proof at all, for in a flawless loophole, faith is required, you are required to have faith in magic to be considered a member of the group and retain the fabulous benefits that come from membership, like a pure and pretty dating/marriage scene, and the satisfaction of creating a majority government
but some science they DO believe
the science of bombs and machines to pump oil and refine oil and the computers to watch the whole thing and the robots who took the jobs of the people before they discovered people of different color were cheaper than robots, because they build and maintain themselves and they will even use a computer to tell you that science is a lie and technology has gone too far and click on this video to illustrate the point
we live in an age of techno-sorcery
the two french kiss in the hallway
while they both tell each other to stop
Saturday, March 17, 2007
Thursday, March 15, 2007
it is important
to be a good boss
to not panic
and start kicking asses
that do not need to be kicked
or in the process of getting your own shit together
question the value
of another's shit
already more together than yours
it is important to embrace change
as you make them
and realize that others may not as much
it is important to cultivate affection
while not caring if you receive it
like they say in battlestar galactica
'he knew about machines
command is about people'
you are so right, lee adama
that is why
(season 2.5 spoiler alert!)
you shall command the Pegasus
in other news
i am learning all about ad/hd
the thing about a thing that kids get
is there are all these kids books
and parent manuals
that your social worker girlfriend
can borrow from the hospital library
it is also a gift to have a character who simply can't stop talking even for a second due to what condition her condition is in and i already snuck in a gay joke
want to see?
P: Hey there. It’s okay.
JAMIE: I just wonder why, you know? I am not a bad person!
P: I know.
JAMIE: My home life is normal, as far as I know. Except my parents aren’t divorced.
P: I know.
JAMIE: Everyone else’s parents are divorced and mine aren’t.
P: Some would say this is a positive thing.
JAMIE: Karen has two Dads and she’s not weird like me!
see there
hilarious
p means principal
when you're a lazy typist
this joke is
sure to be cut in the first workshop
but maybe not
i'll let you know
to be a good boss
to not panic
and start kicking asses
that do not need to be kicked
or in the process of getting your own shit together
question the value
of another's shit
already more together than yours
it is important to embrace change
as you make them
and realize that others may not as much
it is important to cultivate affection
while not caring if you receive it
like they say in battlestar galactica
'he knew about machines
command is about people'
you are so right, lee adama
that is why
(season 2.5 spoiler alert!)
you shall command the Pegasus
in other news
i am learning all about ad/hd
the thing about a thing that kids get
is there are all these kids books
and parent manuals
that your social worker girlfriend
can borrow from the hospital library
it is also a gift to have a character who simply can't stop talking even for a second due to what condition her condition is in and i already snuck in a gay joke
want to see?
P: Hey there. It’s okay.
JAMIE: I just wonder why, you know? I am not a bad person!
P: I know.
JAMIE: My home life is normal, as far as I know. Except my parents aren’t divorced.
P: I know.
JAMIE: Everyone else’s parents are divorced and mine aren’t.
P: Some would say this is a positive thing.
JAMIE: Karen has two Dads and she’s not weird like me!
see there
hilarious
p means principal
when you're a lazy typist
this joke is
sure to be cut in the first workshop
but maybe not
i'll let you know
Friday, March 09, 2007
i don't believe in writer's block
but i do believe in not knowing what to type next
that happens to everyone
writers are just so good with words
they invent a disease
so its not their fault
that they don't know what to type next
anybody reading this ever suffer from AD or ADHD?
how about their kids?
i need your input
so i can steal your life story
and pass it off as my awesome writing
all that said
can i have it?
but i do believe in not knowing what to type next
that happens to everyone
writers are just so good with words
they invent a disease
so its not their fault
that they don't know what to type next
anybody reading this ever suffer from AD or ADHD?
how about their kids?
i need your input
so i can steal your life story
and pass it off as my awesome writing
all that said
can i have it?
Thursday, March 08, 2007
so okay
so
i can't keep control of my schedule
it just whirls around me
in my memory or on little slips of paper
that may or may not be anywhere near me
and when i get real busy
i forget stuff
and misplace stuff
and double book myself
which then i have to cancel
and it eats up even more of my time
which was the thing i was short of
in the fucking first place
so okay i can't use a book
i have books
i have made books
jania has made books for me
i like books
but i can not carry one around all the time
i am literally not able.
it's genetic or something
so i get an idea
i will purchase an electronic device
and i will addict myself to it
i will
effortlessly
(as a matter of course
for it was designed to be thus)
become completely addicted
and then whenever anybody says
are you free this thing on this night or whatever?
i am so happy
i am so fucking happy to pull out this thing
i have been waiting
because i am addicted to it
it my phone and internet
and i get to push the little tiny buttons
of this thing
and find out if i am
and if i'm not
and if i am!
then i am even happier
because i put it into the electronic thing
and then i have it there
i think i do more stuff
just because i just want to
schedule more stuff
it's making me more active as a person!
you can laugh
but i found what worked
i finally know what i am doing today
nothing
so
i can't keep control of my schedule
it just whirls around me
in my memory or on little slips of paper
that may or may not be anywhere near me
and when i get real busy
i forget stuff
and misplace stuff
and double book myself
which then i have to cancel
and it eats up even more of my time
which was the thing i was short of
in the fucking first place
so okay i can't use a book
i have books
i have made books
jania has made books for me
i like books
but i can not carry one around all the time
i am literally not able.
it's genetic or something
so i get an idea
i will purchase an electronic device
and i will addict myself to it
i will
effortlessly
(as a matter of course
for it was designed to be thus)
become completely addicted
and then whenever anybody says
are you free this thing on this night or whatever?
i am so happy
i am so fucking happy to pull out this thing
i have been waiting
because i am addicted to it
it my phone and internet
and i get to push the little tiny buttons
of this thing
and find out if i am
and if i'm not
and if i am!
then i am even happier
because i put it into the electronic thing
and then i have it there
i think i do more stuff
just because i just want to
schedule more stuff
it's making me more active as a person!
you can laugh
but i found what worked
i finally know what i am doing today
nothing
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