so okay

so

i can't keep control of my schedule
it just whirls around me
in my memory or on little slips of paper
that may or may not be anywhere near me
and when i get real busy
i forget stuff
and misplace stuff
and double book myself
which then i have to cancel
and it eats up even more of my time
which was the thing i was short of
in the fucking first place

so okay i can't use a book
i have books
i have made books
jania has made books for me
i like books
but i can not carry one around all the time
i am literally not able.
it's genetic or something

so i get an idea
i will purchase an electronic device
and i will addict myself to it
i will
effortlessly
(as a matter of course
for it was designed to be thus)
become completely addicted
and then whenever anybody says

are you free this thing on this night or whatever?

i am so happy
i am so fucking happy to pull out this thing
i have been waiting
because i am addicted to it
it my phone and internet
and i get to push the little tiny buttons
of this thing
and find out if i am
and if i'm not

and if i am!

then i am even happier
because i put it into the electronic thing
and then i have it there

i think i do more stuff
just because i just want to
schedule more stuff

it's making me more active as a person!

you can laugh
but i found what worked
i finally know what i am doing today


nothing