Thursday, May 25, 2006

Look! Scared now? Posted by Picasa

This petition was sent to me by Michael Petrasek, and I send it to you: this is called "Stephen Harper is a Sports Fan"

To: Government of Canada

The decision by the Government of Canada in its most recent budget to give a tax credit to the parents of children taking part in organized sports (the so-called "soccer mom" credit) is fundamentally unfair. It provides a subsidy to one group of citizens by making a value judgement about the activities in which they choose to involve their children.

The implicit assumption is that involvement in traditional sports has a higher value than taking piano or dance lessons, taking classes in the visual and dramatic arts, singing in a youth choir or taking part in debating or chess clubs. This is unsupportable in fact and undemocratic in its effects. Parents who choose to spend their money on developing the aesthetic, cultural and artistic gifts of their children should not be discriminated against in favour of parents who choose to support their childrens athletic abilities.

Therefore, the undersigned petition the government to reconsider its announced policy and to extend the tax credit to all children and to any activity in which parents enroll their children for their mental, artistic or physical well-being.

Sincerely,The Undersigned

If you think arts and culture may, in fact, be as valuable as soccer to our society, please consider signing the petition below on thewebsite here listed:

Okay Stephen Harper. Now you're pissing me off.

What's next? Double the baby bonus for being born twice?

Free cable for those who watch demonstrably more Fox News?

And now you won't talk to the press? That's not allowed! You're the PRIME MINISTER. We're allowed to know what you are doing. That's a really big democracy rule.

You watch this guy. He's got Bushitis. And that is not a spell check mistake.

Saturday, May 13, 2006

A rough patch

My improv, especially in Theatresports, has been going through quite a rough patch. After some 14 years of doing this stuff, I find most Fridays I am hitting the second half tired, distracted and without the spark I need to really rock it out there. The stuff I am doing is okay, but just that, and sometimes less. It lacks luster. What is that word? Lackluster. Luckily Mark to the Meer has been around to save my ass.

CHiMPROV goes a lot better for me, for one reason or the other.

Maybe when Kevvy gets home, the pleasure of seeing my good friend and improvising with him again will relight my fires.

Maybe the sloughing off of external theatrical work will leave me the energy I need for the RFT stage.

Maybe the upcoming GANZA will inspire me to greater heights.

And if that doesn't work, a break. Like a month break from short form improv.

I'll still do the CHiMP though. I mean, do you see how many HopRocks shows are coming up?

Sunday, May 07, 2006

50. She has an adopted brother named Steven, who doesn't travel. So she arranges to have photos taken of his name in different places, so that it's like he was there. Posted by Picasa

I went to Edinburgh last summer, and she missed me. Posted by Picasa

100 reasons my girlfriend is better than sarah silverman ( a work in progress)

1. I actually know her. Real well even. She comes to my house and we eat meals together and rent movies and walk around. It's super fun.

2. Her sense of humour is as funny as Sarah's, but less harsh, which I enjoy more in a personal setting.

3. She contantly talking about neat stuff that I am totally interested in.

4. She is really smart.

5. She is really pretty.

6. She smells really good.

7. She is constantly impressing me with her dedication to her work, both vocational and occupational.

8. I like her new haircut.

9. She is really thoughtful, not just of me, but of all her friends and family, and of cabdrivers. (After she calls a cab, she has to go and wait for it, because she would rather wait outside for ten minutes than make a cabbie wait for one. That kind of thoughtful.)

10. Jania find excellent gifts. (see number nine)

11. These gifts are often for me.

12. When they are not, she puts my name on the card, so that I seem thoughtful too.

13. While she can speak intelligently about intenational politics in Spanish, she is willing (nay, eager) to discuss celebrity gossip with me. Like that Tom Cruise, I mean, am I right?

14. The whole sex thing simply can not be ignored. But I won't get into details.

15. A year aogo I taught her to scramble an egg. Now she can make the best curry ever.

16. She took me to nicaragua and showed me a whole different world.

17. She likes all my friends.

18. All my friends like her.

19. I like all her friends.

20. She lives in a nice apartment that is hilariously messy and very neat, sometimes depending on the room you are in.

21. She had lots of patience for people, but does not suffer fools gladly, and can hilariously lampoon people she dislikes. This counter-balances with the general sweetness of her character and makes laugh and laugh, because despite number 2, I do like harsh comedy as well.

22. She got into comics, but she got into not just superhero ones, like i mostly read, but also little small press personal stuff that I have grown to like as well.

23. She comes out to my family's place and sincerely enjoys the craziness that is a Craddock gathering.

24. I like her new haircut.

25. She likes me in a beard.

26. She is incapable of driving anywhere near good enough while talking on her cell phone.

27. She likes air hockey. And is quite good.

28. She beats me at everything. (except air hockey)

29. She likes theatre a lot, while not actually being in theatre, as a profession.

30. She gets me a lil something everytime I open anything, even if it is in a different town, or if it was just my birthday. It's her way of saying she is proud of me.

31. She is proud of me.

32. If I am really busy, she will call people and make appointments for me.

33. She likes when i cook for her.

34. I get to lend her my car.

35. She keeps all her jewelry on the Spiderman phone by my couches. She says that he protects it, and maybe he does.

36. She is really short, but she buys pants at an "especially for tall girls store", and then hems them, by a foot and a half.

37. She can play with the nicaraguan kids so well. They love her. She's turns a quick panhandle into a fast friendship, the kind kids make with each other for a day on a playground.

38. She was willing to get a cat, even though she is really allergic, because i really like cats.

39. We make little vows to each other concerning mundanity, which we know we will not keep. We will not consistently acheive better nutrition, we will not return the movies on time.

40. She gives great backrubs.

41. She listens well to my rants of the feckless business i have chosen, and consistently gives reasonable, supportive and human advice.

42. she learned some of gay rap i wrote and can spit it on request.

43. when she saw the sarah silverman stuff on my blog, this is the email she wrote me:

i was so excited to check out the exagerated life of you, because i knew that the big "100 reasons that my girlfriend kicks ass" entry was coming out today. hurrah!

"you know who else i love SO MUCH?"

awwww. how sweet. he love me SO MUCH!

but wait...thats not me at all!!!! that's the funny girl from tv, movies, and jimmy kimmel's bed.

she took my spot. what a cunt.

i still love you...but she is in my bad books.


44. She has the tiniest hands.

45. We are gonna try to make a documentary.

46. When I questioned whether I should have the small print of "the Kiss" in my living room, she reminded me that it was funny because all my "KISS" action figures are on the shelf above them.

47. She never judges how messy my bedroom (and life) gets.

48. She is always going to baby showers, but shows little interest in having a child herself.

49. She takes such good care of her brother.

Friday, May 05, 2006

tonight is a workshop performance of BASH'd

Yes! You heard right!

(if you read that aloud to yourself and you heard it, then YES! YOU HEARD RIGHT!)

The incredibly anticipated in incredibly small circles workshop presentation of BASH'd, a gay rap opera, by Nathan Cuckow, Aaron Macri, and me. I am nervous as hush puppies at an athlete's foot convention, but I can only hope the beat will stay with us and the rhymes will amuse and contort the assembled theatre nerds.

I am always amazed at the turn outs these things get. But then, I guess if an artist you liked, say Picasso, said (probably in Spanish) hey, you wanna look at this painting. It's not done, but if you want, you can look at it, and then later when it's done you can compare, well, you'd look at that painting, wouldn't you.

Like if Jonathan Franzen said, (in English) hey Crad, check it out, my new book. It's just a first draft, but i like it so far, why not give it a look, well, I sure as hell would.

Not that I am famous like those guys, but you get the idea. Maybe it's not that mysterious after all.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006


I am noticing a lot of people. Homeless people, in this case, and specifically I am noticing how they often walk across the street in the midle of the flow of traffic, stopping everything.

I have heard people say that it i because they are too drunk/high/mentally ill to notice when they cross the street.

But i think not.

I think it is a gesture, a gesture of their power, their power, thier tmporary political position, that they will stop the flow of society for just a minute, they, who have the power to affect little in their lives and less in the world at large, they, who are braver than most, perhaps due to their mental states, (drunk/high/mentally ill, for this is still also often true) and thus they take thier difficult lives into their hands and pull that shopping cart across 109 street at rush hour, while your coveted green light goes to yellow ten feet ahead.

They do this, not to annoy, (though yes, to annoy) but also as if to say:

"You will notice me now. now you will preserve my life. you will stop your car, for though you will not help me live, you also do not wish to be the one to kill me. you will stop and look, for i am here, i am here, I AM HERE."

la la la la la life goes on

So now I am hip deep in the Springboards New Play festival, and despite my being basically a new play factory of Taiwan proportions, I have never done this festival before. Maybe because I finish my plays two weeks before rehearsals start.

Anyhow, here I am, with my man the N - to the Dizzle and Dr Ge', who we all know to be none other than my BoyGroove bro in arms, double A to the R O N. And we are having a fun and exhauting time getting this workshop rapping up. Workshopping a rap musical is not like workshopping a regular play. In a play reading, it is so natural to stop and look and read some more, and pause and so forth. But rap is set to a beat that keeps going and all that, well, you can see the difference.

After this next week, I am taking a couple of days off. And when I am done smoking pot and playing PS2, I am going to go to Toronto and look in on BoyGroove as well as check out the Tournament of Wonders Improv festival, put out by my pals Iron Cobra. So that should be an awesome party trip, leaving me hung over and funned up and ready to go back to work.

Coming up soon, one hundred reasons my girlfriend is better than Sarah Silverman.