Sunday, May 07, 2006

100 reasons my girlfriend is better than sarah silverman ( a work in progress)

1. I actually know her. Real well even. She comes to my house and we eat meals together and rent movies and walk around. It's super fun.

2. Her sense of humour is as funny as Sarah's, but less harsh, which I enjoy more in a personal setting.

3. She contantly talking about neat stuff that I am totally interested in.

4. She is really smart.

5. She is really pretty.

6. She smells really good.

7. She is constantly impressing me with her dedication to her work, both vocational and occupational.

8. I like her new haircut.

9. She is really thoughtful, not just of me, but of all her friends and family, and of cabdrivers. (After she calls a cab, she has to go and wait for it, because she would rather wait outside for ten minutes than make a cabbie wait for one. That kind of thoughtful.)

10. Jania find excellent gifts. (see number nine)

11. These gifts are often for me.

12. When they are not, she puts my name on the card, so that I seem thoughtful too.

13. While she can speak intelligently about intenational politics in Spanish, she is willing (nay, eager) to discuss celebrity gossip with me. Like that Tom Cruise, I mean, am I right?

14. The whole sex thing simply can not be ignored. But I won't get into details.

15. A year aogo I taught her to scramble an egg. Now she can make the best curry ever.

16. She took me to nicaragua and showed me a whole different world.

17. She likes all my friends.

18. All my friends like her.

19. I like all her friends.

20. She lives in a nice apartment that is hilariously messy and very neat, sometimes depending on the room you are in.

21. She had lots of patience for people, but does not suffer fools gladly, and can hilariously lampoon people she dislikes. This counter-balances with the general sweetness of her character and makes laugh and laugh, because despite number 2, I do like harsh comedy as well.

22. She got into comics, but she got into not just superhero ones, like i mostly read, but also little small press personal stuff that I have grown to like as well.

23. She comes out to my family's place and sincerely enjoys the craziness that is a Craddock gathering.

24. I like her new haircut.

25. She likes me in a beard.

26. She is incapable of driving anywhere near good enough while talking on her cell phone.

27. She likes air hockey. And is quite good.

28. She beats me at everything. (except air hockey)

29. She likes theatre a lot, while not actually being in theatre, as a profession.

30. She gets me a lil something everytime I open anything, even if it is in a different town, or if it was just my birthday. It's her way of saying she is proud of me.

31. She is proud of me.

32. If I am really busy, she will call people and make appointments for me.

33. She likes when i cook for her.

34. I get to lend her my car.

35. She keeps all her jewelry on the Spiderman phone by my couches. She says that he protects it, and maybe he does.

36. She is really short, but she buys pants at an "especially for tall girls store", and then hems them, by a foot and a half.

37. She can play with the nicaraguan kids so well. They love her. She's turns a quick panhandle into a fast friendship, the kind kids make with each other for a day on a playground.

38. She was willing to get a cat, even though she is really allergic, because i really like cats.

39. We make little vows to each other concerning mundanity, which we know we will not keep. We will not consistently acheive better nutrition, we will not return the movies on time.

40. She gives great backrubs.

41. She listens well to my rants of the feckless business i have chosen, and consistently gives reasonable, supportive and human advice.

42. she learned some of gay rap i wrote and can spit it on request.

43. when she saw the sarah silverman stuff on my blog, this is the email she wrote me:

i was so excited to check out the exagerated life of you, because i knew that the big "100 reasons that my girlfriend kicks ass" entry was coming out today. hurrah!

"you know who else i love SO MUCH?"

awwww. how sweet. he love me SO MUCH!

but wait...thats not me at all!!!! that's the funny girl from tv, movies, and jimmy kimmel's bed.

she took my spot. what a cunt.

i still love you...but she is in my bad books.


love,
j

44. She has the tiniest hands.

45. We are gonna try to make a documentary.

46. When I questioned whether I should have the small print of "the Kiss" in my living room, she reminded me that it was funny because all my "KISS" action figures are on the shelf above them.

47. She never judges how messy my bedroom (and life) gets.

48. She is always going to baby showers, but shows little interest in having a child herself.

49. She takes such good care of her brother.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

oh my lovely silly boy. thank you. you spoil me and you make me laugh. i am ridiculously lucky.

Anonymous said...

Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now keep it up!