I am asshole, hear me roar

So okay. Here's what happened.

I was chilling in the Next Act with Kevin and my sister Carley. I was eating a steak sandwich and drinking too much red wine. And I could not help but notice a girl I knew at the next table. She was hard to miss, because she was telling a loud story.

About me.

And I knew this girl. We had a rather unfortunate encounter and then a better one months later. She was a nice enough girl, and I had nothing at all against her. The feeling was not mutual. She was all -

"Yeah BoyGroove is totally going to Toronto, that Craddock, he is an asshole, but he is so brilliant. I regret sleeping with him, cause he's such an asshole, but he is brilliant."

It was an odd mixture of flattered and offended I was feeling. I was working on a deal for BG in Toronto, but it was far from sealed. I found it funny that she knew about it. I found the whole thing funny, really, which I guess, makes me an asshole.

I was looking over at the table quite a little bit, willing her to notice me. A thick red coat stood in our way. But the guy she was sitting with kept looking over. I couldn't tell if he recognized me, or was just thinking "why is this asshole staring at my girlfriend?" And I was an asshole. You could tell by the loud story.

"What an asshole" she kept saying, and it's hard to argue with. I can be, have been, and probably by the time you read this, I will have acted like an asshole once again. What can I say? It's just the way I am.

Carley and Kevin were well apprised of my situation. They went outside to smoke, but they promised to come back if I needed backup. Minutes later, I did.

The girl and her party were leaving the bar, and when she got up, our eyes met. Being an asshole, I nodded slowly to tell her, yes, yes I did hear it all. I heard the whole thing.

And man did she apologize. She apologized so much, it was embarrassing. She cried even. I found myself unable to asshole, instead hugging her and telling her I was sorry, and she told me why I was an asshole (check the bottom for why I was an asshole), and I said I was sorry for that.

In a way, it was great. Because who ever gets to over hear the kind of story people tell about them when they aren't around. It was educational.

People say I'm an asshole. Fair.

People say I'm brilliant. Flattering.

I am sure some people say one part and not the other. I don't know how many of which camp, and I never will. I don't have time to think about that stuff. All I can say to the haters is: keep complaining. Could well be I don't like you either. And to the lovers, all my love, for it does beat strong and fully in my asshole heart.


Why I was an asshole:

(okay, so about two years after we had our fling, apparently I saw her at a bar. Apparently I went to talk to her. ((I say apparently, for I have no memory of this whatsoever)) She told me she was married and I didn't talk to her much after that, probably because I was worried her husband wouldn't like me. Husbands don't like me. Mothers, however, LOVE ME. So she felt I saw her as a sexual object, cause I didn't talk as much to her married self, and I guess I did, cause we spent a very short time together, in which we mostly had sex. So I am an asshole, in this and other things. If I haven't said sorry yet, I probably will. I apologize roughly twice as much as I offend people. I apologize like a british woman with a large knapsack. I apologize more than the average canadian, and that's saying something. so i am gonna stop apologizing right now, and the first step, is that i am gonna stop being an asshole.

right now.

okay, now.

okay.....now. )

Also - the guy beside her said he recognized me, but he didn't warn the girl. So who's an asshole now?

That was kind of an asshole thing to say.

Sorry.